Topic: The Final Chris Grim Story (Announcement and Discussion)

[*<JO>*Menelaos]

That is fine, there is plenty of room here for as many stories as you want.

You might even inspire others to start writting.

Regards,
Menelaos

[ChrisGrim]

I've come to notice a problem here that may have caused some issues. In the stories I wrote while in SoP I introduce the Lander character, in earlier stories I had planned I develop the Grim and Myste/Nim friendship, but the stories were either deleted when Drake-tar deleted the website (SoP's), when I formatted my computer, or I never got around to writing them. This leaves a noticeable gap in the timeline but also doesn't allow for the issues in this story to be explained very well.

Here's what you need to know now for the purposes of this story. When I go back and write more stories it'll all be explained. Right now the Chris Grim chronicles feels too much like the original Star Wars saga. You get the point, you understand some things but you know there is a lot left to be told and explained when 1-3 get made.

Lander was a Captain in SoP's military faction and a capable assassin around the time Grim and Nimora joined Mukhtar. He and Grim hated one another and often argued over... everything. Guns vs. Sabers, military vs. Apprentices. Etc. When SoP begins to look as if it were dying as Mukhtar began losing his mind Nimora and Lander left together (after starting a relationship no one was aware of until after).

Most people know the story behind Nimora and Grim based on the actual in-game interactions while still in JO so I don't really need to explain why he's chasing after her. Though, as I write more stories I'm going to introduce their friendship a bit more and when they leave for SoP.

[ChrisGrim]

It's done. The last story of Grim's life is finished. He's dead. I have a lot of work to do to fill up his life with events and stories but... It's all just prequels leading to his death now. Goodbye Chris Grim.

This story is noticeably darker than stories past, and about what you can expect from his Dark Side stories. Anger, strength, slightly unrealistic abilities, complete disregard for life, etc. I like the Dark Side for that reason, really.

Anyways, Grim is dead.

[*<JO>*Menelaos]

Ok, so I'll give you my honest opinion and I hope you take it with a grain of salt.

Obviously I like the part I am in. Didn't exactly say things the way I would have, but I could see you trying to have him be me which was nice of you.

The mom thing you have done and well, while I understand it, it was meh. Story could do without her. Reasons I say this is that I am trying to concentrate on your pursuit for Myste, your feelings between light/dark, and to throw in more feelings is just a bit too much.

Inner conflict is good, but the story is really (to me at least) about you finding her and finding out if you feel about her the way you think you do. (turns out you don't, and I was glad to see that...would have been too cheese otherwise)

Your dad was an OK twist, but what was great was the Ex. The fact she would resurface was unexpected and she was possibly the most interesting character for me. Both her background story and her reason for being there now.

The added element was her still remaining feelings for you which ended up being far trueer (if there is such a word) than anything Myste ever gave you.

Myste betrayal was not unexpected as this is exactly the impression I have of her and was her character which with us and away (who can forget Wook and others she alligned herself with).

Lander should have died. You should have crushed his skull with your bare hands as a final act of Darkness in you, and then you should have let her live with the knowledge you did that to Lander (the man she loved) and in the end she should have wished it was her and NOT Lander. When she wishes it was her and not you, well...then she should have picked you and she didnt right?

There is no better revenge than being kind (or light side) to her in letting her live, while still having given her the one most single moment of pain in letting her watch him die at your hands because of her!

Please keep in mind this i just my opinion and its nto worth much, but all in all I enjyoed it and the bomb was something that is not new (remember Bain used something similar) but was a fitting end to your life (not by combat which is refreshing)

I look forward to the other stuff and I hope Master Menelaos looks DAMB good in them =)

Regards,
Menelaos

[ChrisGrim]

I think you have many good, valid points my former Master. I just want to give you and anyone else a bit of backstory as to why certain things were written as they were to maybe explain why I took the approach I did.

I considered asking you what you would have said but I didn't have time to wait for responses from you. I needed to get this out of me while it was so fresh. I did try to stay true to your character but it's hard to do and I'm not looking forward to writing the Menelaos/Grim training sessions. The more JO characters I bring in the harder it is for me to get the characters right. I mean, my first story was flamed at one point because Jorka, Ash, and Dal weren't done completely write. It's a daunting task to write other people's characters.

I'm glad Ahna was well received as she was my favorite character to write and I can't wait to go back and build their relationship a bit further in his early stories. At least their friendship. I never intended them to end up together and they never really date but there's always the strong connection and feelings between them and I'm looking forward to writing it further.

I know the Myste angle is definitely far from original. I guess I figured it was easier to go cliche and predictable since the story seemed to build towards it. As for the Lander part we discussed it (Myste and I) and because he's a part of her character story too I couldn't just kill him. It'd be like me writing a story while I was on the Dark Side and having me crush Achilles' skull. It's not my character to destroy and in the end I wanted Grim's last acts to be different than the one's that proceeded his birth.

I thought you might enjoy the way Chris dies, lol.

[*<JO>*Menelaos]

Well tell her to write her own stuff

If I didn't lack the imagination to do it, I would write something, but I never even wrote a Biography!! You know, this was once a requirement for all JO members and I got away with one!!! Muwhahahahaha

I did start writting it, and Erue (maybe Pann) was the only one to read it at the time. Not sure what I ever did with it, but I am pretty sure I never "published" it.

Regards,
Menelaos

[ChrisGrim]

That's actually a shame. I think the Menelaos chronicles built on reality would rival anything I could make up for Grim. Your character has lived a very interesting life and most of it comes from your JK2, JKA, and forum interactions whereas most of Grim's was stuff I made up to build the character forward. Sort of one of those things where maybe, if I were a better writer and had a better handle on the Menelaos character, I'd be able to ghostwrite some stories and whatnot for you.

[*<JO>*Menelaos]

Would be cool.

Someone once offered to write them...Phoenix did, ha imagine if he had...oh geez.
Maybe one day.

For now, reading the once you guys post is sufficient for me.
So keep them coming.

And Grim shouldn't be the only one, anyone can post them here in the Lore and Legend area...thats what it is for!

Regards,
Menelaos

[*<JO>*Menelaos]

Hey Grim,

Tried to reply to your PM but it wont let me.
Says it doesn't recognize your name on the boards.

Regards,
Menelaos

[ChrisGrim]

Well, that's no good.

[*<JO>*Menelaos]

Send me an email at work.

Regards,
Menelaos

[ChrisGrim]

Will do.

Quick note: I've begun writing another story. I'm starting from the beginning and working my way forward so this one is entitled:

The Grim Chronicles: Birth of a Child; Death of a Family

I'm going to power through as many stories as I can in as short a time as I can.

[*<JO>*Menelaos]

Quality over quantity my old Padawan.

Be true to your stories, make sure they tell the story you want them to tell, and let the amount of stories that come via a process you enjoy.

Regards,
Menelaos

[ChrisGrim]

I'm not rushing the planning or the stories, I'm just forcing myself to sit down and actually write them without stopping and taking breaks in between.

[ChrisGrim]

I've decided to write a non-canon story. Basically just a fun story I thought about while watching SW: ROTS and wanted to write but obviously it can't and won't be a part of his actual character timeline. It'll be the next story I write.